Alternative Coronation Street

 1. Explain the meaning of community. Kirk:   Well community is like a chest. You get them in Monopoly. Daniel: Community, derived from the Latin meaning a society or a relationship system.  Related words are common and communion. Thus, for me a community is a grouping of people who are linked by something that they possess in common, whether through location, social class, work or some other agent that pulls, or binds, them together. Gemma: Me mam's had community service a lot.  She had to pick up litter and drain the canal.  One time she was gardening for old people but she kept nicking their vegetables and so got sent down for three months.  Community service is meant as an alternative to jail but for her, it led to jail. It's not fair really. Mary: Community refers to the wonderful people with whom one shares this street.  They are all so special, though some are more special than others.  When I was a travelling person, I moved from town...

Debbie, business woman of the year 2012 and former contestant in Celebrity Small Sister, enters the Rovers, and heads over to the bar.  She needs a drink after a day worrying about Kev, her ill brother, and running a chain of hotels somewhere outside of Coronation Street. She barely reaches the top of the bar and has to shout for service.  Glenda pops her head into the bar when Debbie shouts, but seeing no one there, she pops back into the hall.  Debbie shouts again, and Daisy looks around, finally seeing Debbie and her massive handbag. "Debbie.  What can I get you?" "At last. I've been stood here for 10 minutes. I'll have a rum and pineapple please Daisy, only don't put any ice in it and put the pineapple in first then the rum and then the straw and finally the little cocktail umbrella." "We don't have pineapple juice, straws or cocktail umbrellas.  And we're out of short glasses, so I'll just give you some rum in a pint glass.  And we ...

 David entered the cafe.  His wife Shona works there, so he often drops in but today he knows she isn't working and he decides to treat himself to a breakfast special with tea. He read the Gazette whilst he was waiting.  David, homeless since Max set fire to the house, saw an advert in the Weatherfield Gazette that caught his eye:   " Unique opportunity to share house with others. No rent charged in exchange for you allowing cameras to follow your every move and to detail your every communication with other housemates.  Would suit married man with no house who needs a break after attempting suicide by asking someone to run him over. " He couldn't believe how good a match it was for him and so he decided to apply straight away. He wrote his application immediately, using one of Roy's napkins as writing paper. " Hiya I'd like to apply for the gig.  I'm used to cameras following me about and people listening in.  I'm a married man whose house was bur...

Elaine, Yasmin and Cathy.  Weatherfield's very own Golden Girls. Elaine.  The one with the past, the one who had known men. Many many man. Yasmin.  The one with the overbearing husband, now deceased. Interested in community education. Cathy. The naive, innocent and foolish one.  The one who collected pizza boxes. Rita. Yasmin's mother.  Old, wise, witty and full of tales of old. --- "Picture it.  The Kabin. Early 1970s.  Daily Express 3p, packet of salt and vinegar 2p.  In walks Ken and Len." "Back in St Austell, we had twins called Ken and Len. They were in the same class as me at school," said Cathy. "Did they go to the local newsagent together?" asked Rita. "No, don't be silly. They'd eat the newspapers." Cathy laughed at Rita's daft question. "I know I'm going to regret asking," said Elaine, "but why did they eat newspapers?" "Goats will eat anything," replied Cathy. "So, Len and Ken ...

S haron was determined to lure young Simon into danger.  Harvey had issued her with a command, and she had to follow it. She needed to get Simon to get to Leanne.  "If I can kidnap and torture Simon, then I'll be able to lure Leanne out of hiding, and biff her over the head with my handbag," she mused and then laughed that nervous little rasp of hers. "Har, har, har." --- Jenny was feeling guilty. She shouldn't have taken advantage of Ronnie's innocence and purity, and had she known that Johnny was going to be released from prison soon, she might never have bothered.  What's another day without it when your man's been in jail for so long? "Did ya kiss him?" asked Daisy. "Not telling," replied Jenny. "Did you give him an extra egg with his breakfast?" "Not saying." "OMG! Did you,,,,?" "I'm saying nowt." "You did.  I can tell.  You've been giving him a pint and only charging f...