Sharon was determined to lure young Simon into danger. Harvey had issued her with a command, and she had to follow it. She needed to get Simon to get to Leanne.
"If I can kidnap and torture Simon, then I'll be able to lure Leanne out of hiding, and biff her over the head with my handbag," she mused and then laughed that nervous little rasp of hers. "Har, har, har."
---
Jenny was feeling guilty. She shouldn't have taken advantage of Ronnie's innocence and purity, and had she known that Johnny was going to be released from prison soon, she might never have bothered. What's another day without it when your man's been in jail for so long?
"Did ya kiss him?" asked Daisy.
"Not telling," replied Jenny.
"Did you give him an extra egg with his breakfast?"
"Not saying."
"OMG! Did you,,,,?"
"I'm saying nowt."
"You did. I can tell. You've been giving him a pint and only charging for a half!"
"It's even worse than that. I gave him the fully Shirley Bassey, and only charged him for a Tommy Steele."
"You mean you popped your cork and charged him just half a sixpence?"
"Aye. And you were right about the egg an' all. I gave him an extra sunny side up for nowt."
---
Harry and Meghan had settled into their new life. When they'd decided to leave royal life behind, they weren't sure at first where to live - California or Weatherfield. The offer to take over as Tyrone and Fizz seemed to good to be true and so they jumped at the change. Portmanteau names were quickly introduced and so Hyrone and Fizzgan moved in. And of course, their lovely child Archiehope.
"I'm going down Dev's for some wine, Fizzgan," said Hyrone.
"Grand. Get a bag of coal to fill t'bath for t'whippet," said Fizzgan. She had a bit of trouble in getting fully into the northern character but she was doing her best.
When Hyrone arrived in the shop, Sharon was already there. He browsed while he waited. Tunnock's Teacakes next to Peshwari Naans. Hyrone sighed, admiring the cross cultural fusion of goods in the shop, and thinking how this applied to him and Fizzgan.
"I'm a teacake to her naan," he thought to himself.
Sharon was chatting to Dev. "And when I woke up this morning, I was missing a wellington boot," she told Dev. She raised her left leg to prove her point. I don't want to snag me tights, har har har."
"Well if you do, I have the finest selection of hosiery this side of Coronation Street. Sunshine red, Egyptian Blush, American Tan, Barely Blue, and Back to Black. All with and without tummy control panels."
"I probably left my boot in your house last night, when we had the Prosecco and cheese spread supper. If only I had your keys."
Hyrone was keen to know more. It was obvious to him that Sharon and Dev had formed a relationship, just as he and Fizzgan had. Another mixed-race couple! But he bet that a certain member of the Royal household wouldn't be questioning the physiognomy of their offspring. He took out his phone and snapped a few images and a short video of Sharon and Dev. Perhaps Fizzgan would like to see the flirting going on between the two of them.
Dev handed his house keys to Sharon, and said, "Go on, fill your boots. Well find your boots!"
Sharon limped off in that very special way that only a hungover woman wearing just one wellington can. Dev found this very alluring.
---
"When did it begin?" asked Daisy.
"I met him on a Monday and my heart went boom," said Jenny.
"Did you do Ron Ron, did you do Ron Ron?" asked Daisy.
"He offered to show me his va va voom," admitted Jenny.
"So you did Ron Ron, so you did Ron Ron?" demanded Daisy.
---
Sharon entered Dev's house, and saw her boot on the table. She vaguely remembered now that Dev had wanted to drink wine out of her wellie. She retrieved the boot, and slid her foot into its sticky interior.
"I hope that's wine," she mused.
She switched on the games console, and looked for the messages app.
Simon received a message on his console a few seconds later.
"Meet me at chippie. Important news. Tell no one but bring a holdall with overnight clothes and enough money for a bag o' chips. Do not tell Leanne. I am not going to kidnap you. Signed 'A Friend'."
What else could he do? It was obviously safe, and nothing could possibly go wrong. He needed to find out what was happening.
---
Hyrone suddenly froze, his nose pointing towards Dev's house.
"I smell trouble," he said. "Since giving up royal life, I have devoted my time to solving crime and protecting the world from evil." He looked like a pointer dog, alert, ginger hair standing on end, and tail erect. "Thataway," he nodded towards Dev's house. "There's summat oop."
Dev rushed out of the shop, and headed to his house. Sharon handed him the keys as she came out. Dev went inside.
"I'm off t'chip shop," she said. "I found me boot, har har har."
"That Hyrone with his overactive imagination. There's no evil or crime her," he said to himself, not noticing that the TV was switched on.
---
Hyrone arrived back to the house. Fizzgan was pleased to see him. It had been seven minutes.
"Welcome back, husband," she said.
"I've had a marvellous time, pumpkin," he said. "Dev's store is such a wonderful place." Hyrone's experience of shopping had been very limited in his previous life, so he didn't have a great deal of shop experience on which to base his judgement.
"I saw a mixed couple - like us. Tunnock's Tea Cakes and Naan Bread. And Sharon and Dev. They seemed so sweet together. I took some piccies so that we could admire them," he said. He took out his phone and showed Fizzgan the images.
"These look like paparazzi pics," said Fizzgan.
"No, I mean yes, but, no... I didn't think," Hyrone said.
"I need time to think, this is bringing back memories of those crazy palace days. Give me space to think. I'm being triggered."
Hyrone hated all of Fizzgan's Californian self-analytical psychology language. He left the house, to head for the Rovers. It was his way of coping when Fizzgan got annoyed.
---
"Go on now, go, walk out the door," shouted Jenny. "Just turn around now, cause you're not welcome anymore.
"Weren't you the one who took me upstairs to your bed?" asked Ronnie. "You thought I'd forget you. You thought I'd get you out my head?"
He left. What else could he do?
---
Ronnie bumped into Hyrone, one leaving the Rovers and one entering.
"Sorry mate. On my way to the chippie," said Ronnie.
"I might join you," said Hyrone. "It sounds very working class in a 'grim-up-north' sort of way.
Sharon passed them. She had to be at the chip shop.
Simon lurked in the shadows. Which one of them had messaged him and needed to give him some news?
---
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